Plucky porker Wise caught with his snout and trotters in the trough

UKIPwatch shuddered nervously as it heard that there was a News of the World exposé on Tom Wise. What sordid sex secrets would be revealed? How many times a night would it be? Would there be pictures? Fears of a topless spread fortunately proved unfounded.

It seems that having innocently given a young lady work experience, Wise preceded to jovially tell her about how he takes full advantage of the European Parliament’s expenses system while at the same time admitting he hasn’t got a clue what he’s supposed to be doing.

Of course, the young lady on work experience was actually a reporter for the News of the World and, job wrapped up, the story, complete with undercover tape recording (how exciting!), was published for all to see on Sunday. Ooops.

Now UKIPwatch does not condone undercover reporting. It is deceitful and hardly the mark of a great journalist but if you don't say or do anything worth reporting then you won't be splashed all over the newspapers. And if you read the story it is clear that Tom Wise’s expenses are within the rules, far too lax rules that need changing, but rules nonetheless.

So why the story? It's probably because of the glee Wise clearly takes in grabbing every last cent of expenses for his own pockets while cheerfully boasting about his half-arsed approach to the job.

Having nonchalantly revealed that "Yes, I am milking the system, in as much as I'm overpaid for the amount of expenses I've had" he went on to admit "I don't know what an MEP's job is. No one's ever given me a job description. I've no idea what an MEP should or shouldn't do. So you make it up as you go along."

There is also the implication that Wise 'signs in and sods off' to collect his daily allowance, though UKIPwatch is slightly suspicious at Wise's claim that "You get here at 7am, you sign in...and then you can sod off." 7am? Bollocks, Tom.

The article also begs the question about Wise’s position in UKIP. The News of the World seem fairly certain Wise is no longer a UKIP MEP but then the News of the World is fairly certain people are interested in Lee Sharpe’s sex life (Kim Ryder apparently).

Following the story in the News of the World, Nigel Farage even dusted down his typewriter to distance Wise from UKIP who he asserted was now an Independent MEP. No one seems to have told Wise though, whose website remains in UKIP colours and maintains that he is proud to be a UKIP MEP.

Talking of Wise’s website, his statement in response to the News of the World article shows a level of conceit that even the very worst Apprentice contestents would cringe at. He first congratulates the News of the World for publishing the story and then shrugs off any question that what he is doing is wrong by saying he is merely highlighting the issue of expenses in the European Parliament.

Brave, brave Mr Wise gobbling-up every cent of taxpayers money (in the recording he claims to be making a profit of nearly £2000 a week from expenses scams - that's £1/2 million over his five year term) it is possible to squeeze and wring from EU citizens, while chuckling away at the fact he is still clueless about how to do his job.

But you remember this people, the plucky porker is doing it for you!

Nattrass for Crewe as UKIP unveil their own 'quiet man'

So Mike Nattrass has been selected as UKIP's candidate for this month's by-election in Crewe and Nantwich. This is a bit of a surprise as Nattrass represents the West Midlands in the European Parliament and has no link to Crewe. He is also one of the least assiduous MEPs - he has made a grand total of 3 interventions in the Parliament in 2008 and has one of the worst attendance records. The obvious candidates to stand would have been John Whittaker, UKIP MEP for the region Crewe is in, or Nigel Farage.

Farage fought the Bromley by-election in 2006, following the death of Tory Eric Forth but took a measly 8% of the vote despite spending £70,000 on the by-election campaign. Rumours that most of this largesse was spent providing 'entertainment' for renowned UKIP party boys Farage and Godfrey Bloom remain unconfirmed.

By selecting Nattrass, who has achieved precious little since becoming an MEP (save for being taken to court by one of his employees), UKIP are clearly going to do this election on the cheap.

UKIP spinner convicted fraudster

So, not content with electing convicted benefit fraudster Ashley Mote it seems that fraud is something that runs in the UKIP family.

Clive Page was UKIPs press officer during the Hartlepool by-election in 2004, when UKIP councillor Stephen Allison beat the Tories into third place to achieve UKIP's best ever by-election result. He was then appointed as UKIP's Deputy Communications Director. Just months earlier, Page had been sentenced to an 80 hour community punishment order after being convicted of over £5,000 worth of benefit fraud.

A poor man's Ashley Mote - now there's a novelty!

Knapman and Farage feud on whether to keep it in the family

One of UKIPwatch's helpers came across this intriguing letter from Roger Knapman in last week's Western Daily Press. Knapman welcomes the vote in the European Parliament to ban MEPs from employing family members as assistants, adding that "UKIP has a rule that MEPs should not employ their wives, agreed at the start of the 2004 Parliament". Indeed, Knapman goes on to say that "MEPs expenses should not be channelled into the pockets of their own family. That is a misuse of taxpayers' money".

This "rule" was agreed when Knapman was still leader of UKIP. However, his successor has shown less respect for the principle of not employing family members. Nigel Farage employs his wife Kirsten as a home based secretary and pays her an alleged £24,000 per year from his parliamentary allowance. It's fair to say that Knapman's "rule" is not being applied.

Roger also makes a not-so subtle dig when he says that "it seems some MEPs are paying their wives when little or no work is being done". To whom could he possibly be referring?!?!

Of course, it's no secret that Knapman and Farage hate each other. They had bitter disagreements over the handling of the Tom Wise scandal (when Knapman threatened to resign the whip) and it is rumoured that Knapman was responsible for telling the Sunday Times that Farage was employing his student son, a story which Farage refuted and the Times now seems to have agreed was baseless, as the story can no longer be found on the paper's website.

Honestly, can't they just play nicely?

UKIP play the blame game after poll drubbing

The London Mayoral election and local elections were pretty awful for the Government, but the unnoticed disaster was UKIP's performance with the party's candidate finishing seventh in the Mayoral race and the party being wiped out of the Assembly. In the town hall elections across the UK, they finished with a grand total of 8 councillors, fewer than, for example, the BNP, Greens, the old Liberal party and the Kidderminster Health Concern party.

UKIP had spent the weeks leading up to polling day claiming that they were the fourth party in London. Back in 2004, boxing promoter Frank Maloney polled 6% in the mayoral race and 115,000 first preference votes. Last Thursday, however, the hapless Gerard Batten picked up a paltry 22,000 votes - 0.9% - well behind the Greens, the BNP and the Christian People's Alliance.

The BNP picked up 5.3% of the vote and 1 seat on the Assembly. It is hugely disappointing that an unreconstructed fascist party like the BNP has won a seat on the Assembly, but the vote share picked up by the extreme right in London has declined significantly since 2004 when UKIP took 10% and 2 seats and the BNP took 4.7%, narrowly missing out on a seat.

UKIP press officer Annabelle Fuller puts up this threadbare and deeply embittered defence, blaming (no, this isn't a joke) the media for the Greens finishing fourth and the BNP winning the battle of the extreme right, because by giving cursory coverage to the Greens and the reviled BNP, UKIP were denied the media spotlight. No, Annabelle, the Greens get more coverage than UKIP because they have more elected representatives and get more votes. She also describes the party of Caroline Lucas and Darren Johnson as "the Communist Green Party". It's fair to say that Ms Fuller has never read any Marx…..

It is also interesting to see her endorsement of Boris Johnson - "I'm not a Tory, but I think Boris is a bloody good bloke". Fuller, of course, was involved in Conservative Future until a couple of years ago. With UKIP so obviously a busted flush, does she think defecting back to the Tories will be a good career move?

Tom Wise saga rumbles on

The Tom Wise alleged embezzlement saga rumbles on into its third year still, apparently, no closer to being closed.

It is claimed in the Bedfordshire press that Bedfordshire Chief constable Gillian Parker told Mr Wise that no action would be taken against him. As the police investigation is still ongoing it could be argued that this prejudices the continued investigations into Mr Wise. Meanwhile, local councillor Andrew McConnell gives his two cents worth here - calling for UKIP to sack Wise.

It is now three years since the first investigations into Tom Wise's alleged embezzlement of over £35,000 of his assistance allowance. What are the odds that it'll still be going when next year's European elections are held?

Bob Spink - man of "determination and principle"

UKIPwatch referred to the Farage 'kiss of death' describing disgraced former Tory and now UKIP MP Bob Spink as a man of "determination and principle".

Once again Nigel demonstrates his unerring judge of character. In an email sent last month to his former colleague Nadine Dorries MP, Spink asks "what is this nonsense about me joining UKIP….How do they make it up", before going on to add that "being Independent….works for me and should give me more influence"

A fairly clear statement you might think.

Four weeks later……Bob Spink joins UKIP. Clearly a man of "determination and principle", eh Nige.


As Bob points out, "the wonderful people of Castle Point…are very astute and know exactly what has been going on" - in which case you'd better start thinking about your next job Bob, because the seat won't be yours for long.

Too extreme for the Tories, Spink joins UKIP

So Nigel Farage's wet dream has come true and UKIP have their first seat in the Commons to go with their two hereditary peers and nine remaining MEPs after Castle Point MP Bob Spink, who was kicked out of the Tory party last month, joined UKIP.

Bob Spink would be diplomatically described as a 'controversial' or 'colourful' character and more accurately described as being more right-wing than Attila the Hun. Back in 2005, his main campaign was to attack asylum seekers under the slogan "what part of send them back don't you understand, Mr Blair". Given UKIPs anti-immigrant mantra and Nigel Farage's comments about black people, UKIPwatch is sure that Spink will fell at home in UKIP.

His complicated office arrangements also demonstrate that he will be amongst friends in UKIP - in February it was revealed that Spink was employing his daughter, ex-wife and the daughter of his ex-lover out of his parliamentary office allowance, truly a remarkable achievement.

Unfortunately for Bob, Nigel Farage has already put the kiss of death on him by describing him as "hard working and deeply principled". However, when it comes to his parliamentary seat, Mr Spink is a bit more defensive, claiming that a by-election is unnecessary as: "I was elected as Bob Spink". Yes, Bob, but you were also elected on the Conservative party ticket, while the official UKIP candidate got 7% of the vote. It's fair to say that the people of Castle Point did not elect a UKIP MP.

However, UKIP had better enjoy having an MP while it lasts. There is as much chance of Gerard Batten becoming Mayor of London as UKIP winning a Westminster seat and Castle Point will again be a Tory/Labour marginal when the next general election is called.

Those who can, do; those who can't, chat

The day UKIP wields any power will be a desperate, desperate time but occasionally they come out with an idea so preposterous it would be quite intriguing to see just how they would go about fulfilling their madcap ideas.

Gerard Batten's campaign for the London mayoral elections is a case in point. In between complaining he's not being invited to hustings, he's also promising a five year freeze on immigration.

Quite how Batten proposes to do this remains unclear; other than letting in the odd person with the "right skills" he's not really gone into detail. Hopefully it will involve some heavily-armed border guards racing around the M25 shouting at anyone in an Audi who works in advertising to get back to Essex before sunset or they'll face big trouble but it will probably just mean targeting foreign types.

Being the savvy politician that he is, Batten does actually admit there's nothing he can actually do about immigration should he win but he has promised to talk about it.

So, um, yup he appears to be promising something he can't deliver but he will at least chat about it. Right, that sounds, err, good. Lets hope future UKIP promises include getting everyone into heaven (except from immigrants) and getting everyone a game for a Premiership football club (except for immigrants). That will be some good talking.

We're not racist, we just don't like immigrants......

It was interesting to see a UKIP leaflet produced for the recent council by-election in Wyre Borough. It didn't do much good, with UKIP finishing fourth behind the BNP. is the standard UKIP fare, but one paragraph is particularly amusing:

"Of British parties only UKIP voted against EU enlargement in the European Parliament that has resulted in over 600,000 Eastern European immigrants entering Britain. It is IMPOSSIBLE to regain control of our borders within the EU. UKIP will freeze immigration for 5 years and speed up deportation of up to 1 million illegal immigrants. UKIP is a non racist/non sectarian party."

You couldn't make it up…..

Godders and Tim Kirkhope - the end of the Bentley affair

Godfrey Bloom continues to cultivate his reputation as a throwback to Colonel Blimp and is always good for a chuckle. He is famous for a love of the high-life - commenting when he saw his £60,000 MEPs salary that "I can't possibly live on that". His latest foray into the press would indicate that he may have had a point, since one of Godfrey's 'passions' is his beloved 1982 classic Bentley and his membership of the Bentley Drivers' Club.

He is not the only Yorkshire MEP to favour the Bentley as his drive of choice; Tory Tim Kirkhope is a fellow enthusiast and member of Godders' driving club.

However, their enjoying friendship as Bentley lovers has bitten the dust, after Godders', taking umbrage at being fined £400 by President Pöttering for heckling the Portuguese Prime Minister, bizarrely claimed that Kirkhope was responsible for the fine as a member of the Parliament's Constitutional Affairs committee. The great man even accused Tim of "caddish behaviour". In the words of Frankie Howerd: "Ooh er missus".

Accusing a fellow classic car owner of "caddish behaviour" is the thin end of the wedge and hardly the way a true gentleman should behave. Watch out for Kirkhope challenging Godders to a dual - pistols at dawn, sir!

Shock horror! Racist homophobe turns down UKIP seat!

Spend a little time with the average u-kipper and they will invariably try and persuade you that they're not all Johnny foreigner hating loons. Some of them even like to describe UKIP as being a libertarian, 'eurorealist' party.

But, as UKIPwatcher has seen, scrape the UKIP façade and you find racism, homophobia, sexism and appalling bigotry.

The latest example is the farce over Sean Gabb, who spoke at a UKIP rally in Exeter on 8th March and was invited to another rally in Morecambe this Saturday, only to have the invitation withdrawn when some U-kippers took umbrage at his unique brand of 'libertarianism'.

Sean Gabb is the director of the Libertarian Alliance (this is ironic naming in the same way that the hard-right anti-immigration organisation set up by the McWhirter brothers calls itself the Freedom Association). He alleges (and this has not been denied by UKIP) that during the conference he was approached by a "(sic) senior person in UKIP… and asked if I would like to stand in the European elections…with a position on the party list that would give me some chance of being elected".

All seemingly normal UKIP activity, as the party is always desperate for candidates. However, Mr Gabb's politics are so extreme they should make even Nigel Farage's eyes water. Clearly no fan of black or gay people, Mr Gabb says that he would be happy for employers and pub landlords to be allowed to say "niggers and faggots need not apply" in the advertisements. Gabb's other policy positions include legalising all drugs, decriminalising the possession of child pornography and repealing the UK's race relations laws. So there we have it: an unabashed racist, homophobe who has no problem with child exploitation being legal.

Gabb says that he turned down the offer (although he will continue to vote UKIP and describes them as "our last and our best hope in politics"), but the bottom line is that UKIP invited this despicable individual to speak at a party rally and then courted him as a candidate. The whole episode really tells you all you need to know about UKIPs warped politics and is another reminder that Nigel Farage's UKIP are no better than the BNP with posh accents.